Today I am overwhelmed with a flood of emotions. You see, 27 years ago my son was born brain dead because I was in full-on eclamptic seizures and the blood rushed away from him to save my brain. I never got to hold him, never got to say goodbye, and that Mother’s Day was spent trapped on a maternity ward without my child. I woke up this morning and wished him a Happy Birthday and I prayed to God for the courage to get through this difficult day for me. To further complicate m

Originally published on https://moderndayscarletto.wordpress.com/ Stay tuned, as a lot has changed in 6 years, but the one thing that didn’t was my desire to write and share my ongoing journey to find myself and learn to love myself unconditionally. I have missed this forum and the connections I made here. It’s been too long, and the sad thing is, I’m still trying to put all the puzzle pieces together, but this time, I’m completely sober and no longer on any medications. I a

It was a simple text, “How are you?” I wish I could answer. I’m just at a loss anymore as to how I am supposed to answer.  Certain answers come to my mind today: Crushed, Hopeless, Fatigued, Powerless, Feeling Like a Complete Failure, Hating Myself, but are these the answers anyone wants to hear to that simple question? Of course not, but I don’t have a good answer. Should I write back and say that my husband thinks I hate him? Should I say that my kids probably think I am th

The Jehovah’s showed up at my door this morning to spread the word. The door bell rang and I knew there was no hiding, as I have a huge bay window in front of my home and uncharacteristically, the blinds were open. I contemplated answering versus not answering and just decided to open the door. What did I care that I hadn’t showered in two days and was in my pajama pants and sweater without a bra? They’re non-judgmental, right? They were here to save me, to spread the good wo